Emptiness
by Shieldage
Summary: Cordelia makes a wish. Divergence Point? Sunnydale Quake, 1937
1. Darkness

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Some dialogue from Season 3's "The Wish" through _Buffy Body Count dot ca_. The werewolf idea from dogbertcarroll's "Reflection of the Sun" over at _TtH Fanfic dot org_.

##

Cordelia stood behind the Bronze, her hand pressed against her side. The wound she'd received from falling through the stairs still pained her, but not nearly as much as when it had happened. The emotional pain from seeing her boyfriend in the arms of another wasn't fading nearly as fast.

When the door opened behind her she didn't even need to turn around to see who it was. The sound of the overpriced shoes told her enough.

"Buffy," she sighed. "What, did Xander look at you with those puppy dog eyes and ask you to pass the message on to me? 'Cause you can't beg nearly as well. Or is something about to attack me?"

"Nah," answered Buffy. "I'm out here of my own free will."

Not wanting to look at the blonde Slayer, Cordelia started slowly down the alleyway toward the main street. Buffy kept the pace easily and they walked in silence for a few moments.

Cordelia was the first to stop. She turned around, an eyebrow raised.

A half-rehearsed speech tumbled from Buffy's lips. "Cordelia, I know what it's like to be hurt by someone. Hurt so much that you don't think you're going to make it. But I told my friends how I felt, and you know what? It got a little-"

A vampire chose that moment to jump between Buffy and Cordelia. It was basically instinct that propelled Buffy's kick. A flailing undead arm knocked Cordelia off her feet, but her fall was cushioned by a pile of garbage bags resting beside the dumpster.

The vampire wasn't so lucky. It hit the brick wall with enough force that it was barely able to resist when Buffy drove a stake through its heart.

"Hey." Buffy frowned down at the new pile of ash. "That was rude; Cordelia gave you a great opening like two minutes ago and you interrupt _my_ speech?"

Harmony chose that moment to exit through the back door, too late to see the action but just in time to find Cordelia, her ex-leader, working her way out of the trash. "Oh, is that the new style," she said, accompanied by the giggles of her little gang. "Dumpster chic?"

"Ignore them," Buffy said as she moved to help. "They're not-"

"No." Cordelia waved a hand and managed to free herself the rest of the way. "I don't need help right now. I'm sick and I'm tired and don't look at me like that. Oh. It's not you. Do you know why I'm hurt? Do you know why my clothes keep getting ruined? Do you know why my boyfriend got so scared that he forgot about me? Do you know the reason why my friends keep dying? It's-"

##

"It's not something I can talk about." It was the next day, at school, and Cordelia was being investigated by a girl she knew as Anya the transfer student. "Really. I can't."

"You've already said it's not about school or anyone at school. So, it can't be your ex... This isn't about monsters, is it?" Anya kept right on talking, despite Cordelia's expression. "Oh, c'mon! My dad owns three twenty-four hour gas stations in Sunnydale and a take-away seafood place on the harbor. _Of course_ we know about monsters."

Cordelia sighed. "Figures that the oh-so-normal so-glad-I'm-not-an-outcast-that-I'll-be-friends-wi th-one _new_ girl would know something it took me years to figure out. No offense meant."

"None taken."

"You coming here. Paying attention to me. Letting me wear your lucky necklace," Cordelia said, touching the chain resting against her neck. "I just feel more real than I have for awhile. I guess that's one of the things that attracted me to Xander in the first place. We had a friend, named Jesse, who died twice. You know... that whole thing. Losing him started... I guess sharing a past with Xander was one of the things that drew us together, as much as sharing the present."

"What, you wish your friend had never died?"

"No. With my luck. Make that with his luck... Angelus would've eaten him. It's not fair that we have to deal with all of this when all those guys have to deal with is one little girl with a mediocre fashion sense and, well, us, whatever."

"What you're saying is?"

"I'm sick to death of vampires. I can't believe I've even had a crush on one! All because of this stupid Hellmouth. I wish that it would just eat them or something. That this entire place has been for years basically a big neon sign saying 'Vampires, stay away or-'... Um, all you alright? You know, I don't really like being laughed at."

Anya was bent over, her hair falling in front of her face. "No, it's not that. If anything, I'm grateful. **Wish Granted**."

Anya stood up dramatically, veins bulging across her face. Cordelia had a second to stare into those new demonic features before the world changed.

##

Sixty-one years in the past, Heinrich Nest, known to his legion of vampires as the Master, was having a very bad day. An earthquake had interrupted his effort to harness the power of the Hellmouth and unleash a reign of terror on the world. His nightmarish world would be ruled by him and his children alone, because he knew the secret of tainting the energies of the Hellmouth so none but the most powerful demons and those species chosen by him could survive its infernal radiance.

He'd become stuck inside the wedge of space he'd forced into the energy nexus and the half-completed ritual was whipping around wildly, thornily tearing into the sensitive regions of the Hellmouth.

Needless to say, it was pissed.

Henrich had a few seconds to realize why playing around with forces larger than him was a bad idea before the Hellmouth consumed his unfinished spell and became fully aspected against vampires. As he was literally at the center of effect, he ceased to exist rather messily.

##

Two years in the past, Angel, a vampire cursed with a soul, was driving from Los Angeles to Sunnydale when his skin began to char.

At the time, he was rather absorbed in his thoughts of the cheerleader he'd seen on the steps of her school, the one the Powers that Be had apparently assigned him to protect. His first response to the darkening of his fingers was to hold them in front of his face and rub them against each other in hopes of returning them to normal color. This worked at first.

Then the pain set in.

It was all he could do to pull the car to the side of the road and stop it without crashing, an action made difficult by the screams coming from his throat.

Once the car was stopped, he realized that the pain had stopped increasing and was holding steady so, not wanting to abandon the vehicle, he decided to back out of the area of effect.

A few minutes later, he succeeded.

Pulling open the door, he sprawled in the dirt, exhausted. He was truly grateful he'd decided to drive late enough at night that the roads were virtually empty.

"Well." He stared up into the sky, hoping he'd pull himself back together before sunrise. "I'm going to have to check the newspapers to see if there's been a series of odd car crashes in a circle around Sunnydale, or try approaching the city from a different direction, myself. Either way, I am so _fucking_ done for the night."

##

A year-and-a-half in the past, the phone rang in a house on Revello Drive. Joyce Summers answered it with a pleasant greeting.

"Mrs. Summers," Angel began. "I know you don't know me, but let me ask you this. Has your daughter been acting up lately? Sneaking out without leaving notes behind? Coming in at all hours of the night covered in bruises?"

"Um. Yes, but that's not a good way to start a conversation."

Angel gave a muted sigh of relief. He'd done the research on Slayer activities and hoped Buffy was being a good example of the breed. "Sorry, I'm not the most experienced person working here. I'm just willing to give her case a try. My name is Angel and I'm with the Troubled Teens Caring Mentors Program..."

##

Buffy came home that particular day to find her mother talking on the phone. She didn't believe the cover story for a second, but she wasn't about to dissuade her mother of that notion.

After accepting the phone and making nice noises into it until she could wave her mother out of the room, she dropped her voice into a snarling register. "Okay, spill."

"My name is Angel and I was given orders from way high up in the power food chain to look after you, but it seems that the Boca del Infierno is giving off a barrier surrounding your town that I can't break through. Being a mystical guardian isn't all it's cracked up to be if I can only do it by phone, but I'll guess I'll take what I can get."

"Yeah, and I'm sure you really wanted to do it in person too, because I'm cute." Buffy tossed her hair and was rewarded by the sound of Angel's teeth grinding over the phone. After a moment's thought, she continued more seriously. "I guess this Fiery Vale's also what's keeping out the vampires, right? Because, hello, that's my job description, but I'm having to carry axes and swords around and chop things into rather large piles of goo. I don't have it easy, I'm dealing with enough species of demons as it is, but I'm almost beginning to miss just offing a stupid bloodsucker and having it disappear in a nice, neat pile of poof."

"What," Angel finally interrupted with a sneer. "Fiery- The translation is closer to Hell's Mouth. Didn't your Watcher teach you anything? I didn't think he looked that stupid in Los Angeles."

"He died there too. This town came with a whole new Watcher. You are _seriously_ out of touch."

"Ouch. I'm... I'm so sorry. It's rough losing someone. On the bright side, you're absolutely right about Sunnydale and vampires. I had someone approach your town with a vampire chained in the back of a truck. I, uh, have photos."

"What happened?"

"It wasn't pretty."

"Good."

##

Cordelia revolved in place, taking in her new present as she searched for 'Anya'. The demon had simply disappeared.

"Huh," were the first words out of her mouth before her view of the world began to go dark. She saw Harmony racing towards her and felt some warm feeling in her chest. Harmony had been turning a cold shoulder to her the past week or so, but she'd been a friend for a lot longer.

"Cordelia, are you okay?" Harmony said upon reaching her, slightly out of breath. "Where's your cane? Wait, your eyes, can you see again?"

"What are you talking about?" Cordelia stammered. "Why are you wearing a different dress? Why is it getting dark? And, now, I can't see a thing."

"Yeah." Harmony studied Cordelia's face closely and took an investigative sniff. "Your eyes are back to normal; the color's completely gone. You still don't smell like you did a few minutes ago. What happened?"

"No. I can't be blind again. Cheerleading... We fixed this sophomore year, right? Buffy confronted Catherine and all her spells vanished."

"Catherine? Who's Catherine?"

"Things aren't... Wait, what was with the smelling?"

"Are you sure you're Cordelia? I mean... Yeah, I've been getting hairy since last year. The love spell incident with Oz. No one told me that being a werewolf was an STD, but there you go."

"You guys look worried. Oh, and ravishing of course," said a male voice that was very familiar to Cordelia, as a warm arm draped itself across her shoulder. "Your cane's gone missing, right? So if you need any help moving, I'll steady you. I'm happy you like me enough to let me do this much. Fur-girl should be able to retrace your path and, if your cane was a victim of foul play, high-kick the perpetrators into submission."

"Jesse," Cordelia murmured, her head swimming. "Jesse," she continued in a firm tone, with emotion underneath. "They still have those big white foundation things along the side of the school, right? Could you please take me to one of them?"

"Sure, milady. As you wish."

Upon reaching the thick column, Cordelia spread out her arms to embrace it. With a sigh she touched her nose to the cool surface then, pulling her head back, hit her forehead gently against the column. She did it again, at a much slower speed, and rested there, closing her eyes against the darkness.

"Oh, great," she said, her face still pressed into the column. "Why didn't anyone tell me that burning a picture of your ex on the Hellmouth gives you a free Wish?"


	2. Awareness

BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Altered plot from Season 1's "The Witch" and some dialogue from Season 2's "I Only Have Eyes For You" through _Buffy World dot com_.

Heh, the group here (probably) isn't the Stargate 'Trust'. Rather think I'm not the first to use the nicely ironic name in a straight-Buffyverse story either. If anyone has a link, I'll reference it.

* * *

Cordelia sat in the darkness, her foot tapping the ground. She wondered idly if she could get echolocation. There had to be an amulet or a spell for that, right?

She chuckled. "With my luck, it'd be an enchanted warhammer. Good luck coordinating clothes with that. Oh, God, when I get home, my entire closet's going to be indexed by _Braille_. How am I going to learn that?"

"Hey," said Jesse, returning from her locker. He waited a second, then pressed the cool wood of her spare cane to her fingers. "I hear 'a' is the first dot. I guess you work on from there. So you were saying that you Wished me alive?"

"Not exactly." Cordelia shook her head and carefully rose to her feet. "I mainly wished that there were no vampires around here so _they_ wouldn't be able to kill people."

"Good job." Jesse laughed. "That definitely worked; I've seen the pictures."

"I get that this version of me is used to being blind, but _I_ don't want to be. Can you please take me to Amy- No, wait, Giles. He's still all in the library with the Slayer, right? What about Xander and Willow?"

"He is, yeah. The rest, that's complicated."

##

A year-and-a-half in the past, Buffy entered Sunnydale High, having stayed with the suddenly blind Cordelia until the ambulance had arrived. Her mind was whirling with the implications of a second attack on the cheerleader squad, Amber already in the hospital. Buffty had held hopes that manifested emotion had caused Amber to catch herself on fire, but this definitely pointed to a rogue magic user. In that case, with how weird one of her fellow alternates had been acting, she had a prime suspect...

Her train of thought was broken off by the sound of the glass doors shattering behind her. She threw herself to the side, rolling to catch a glimpse of a large hammer arcing past. Leaping to her feet, she faced down the blue, warty demon standing outside the school.

He was a member of the Trust, an organization of humans and demons with deep roots in Sunnydale that controlled most of the town's illegal activity. Because of the human portion, Buffy wasn't about to slaughter her way through it, much as she'd like to. Angel was tracking down rumors of a major backer in Los Angeles, but the Trust wasn't about to lose control of _their_ town without a fight.

The demon sneered. "Can the _Slayer_ come out and play?"

Buffy snarled and leaped into battle. She'd never had really high hopes for being 'secret identity girl', but this town definitely wasn't cut out for it.

##

Later on that day, Catherine Madison, a cheerleading-obsessed witch who had switched bodies with her daughter, Amy, was sitting in science class. The spell she'd cast last night to blind Cordelia, one of the few left standing between herself and the squad, had gone off without a hitch, and another was set to go off that period.

When a commotion arose next to her, she _switched_ her memories around so she'd be as genuinely shocked by her suddenly _mouthless_ neighbor as anyone else but, somewhere deep inside, Catherine was smiling.

##

A year or so in the past, Buffy was starting her Summer vacation when she began to have a series of dreams.

After the third one, she woke up with a ringing phone. Her mom had left early to prep for a large delivery, so she had no trouble answering it.

"I guess we're going to finally meet," came Angel's voice. "You've been having the dreams, right?"

"I was going to spend the Summer with my dad."

"We're headed to the Caribbean. I'm sorry, but he's going to have to wait."

##

Less than a year in the past, Xander fell from the school's second story. He'd been shot by a blank that had turned into a real bullet in flight. Fortunately, his bullet-proof vest was immune to ghost-tampering.

Unfortunately, the ghost possessing him had lost consciousness in mid-air, so Xander's landing was completely uncontrolled.

There had been a series of murder-suicides caused by a pair of ghosts reenacting their mid-century deaths. Although the prop guns hadn't panned out, other preparations the gang had made had already saved Xander's life.

Willow was in a worse spot, as even blanks can kill when aimed at the head. They were both wearing padded helmets, but those offer only limited protection. So, they'd cheated, magically, and hoped for the best.

When Willow, her breath raspy and tortured, entered the second story doors facing the school's balcony, she exited from the ground floor doors. Staring in shock at the body the ghost inside her saw as that of his lover, she backed away, only to bounce off a magical barrier.

She beat her hands against the air, screaming in frustration and sorrow, before turning and taking tentative steps to the body in courtyard. "I never wanted to see you like this. When you fell... I wanted to remember as you were when you were alive, have my last thoughts be of you before the shot rang out. I guess this is my punishment, Grace. I have no choice." Willow pressed the gun to her head and clenched her jaw.

"Wait!" Xander's eyes opened wide as his arms slowly reached toward Willow's feet. "I'm alive." He coughed. "Sort of."

Willow dropped the gun in shock. It went off, the bullet shattering a window before safely embedding in a wall. "How?"

Xander's hands tentatively pressed his chest, the ghost inside him unaware of the artificial padding, but definitely feeling the horrible bruising. "The gun must have somehow been loaded with blanks," he said, coming to the wrong yet logical conclusion.

Willow knelt to his side and pressed his hand into hers. "I'm sorry. I know I was angry and I was stupid. How I felt... That single moment... _That_ was an accident."

"I know."

"It's my fault! How could I let this-"

"I'm the one who should be sorry, James. You thought I stopped loving you," said the ghost in Xander. "But I never did. I loved you with my last breath." As Willow took this in, tears pouring down her face, Xander comforted her. "No more tears."

For a brief second, all color faded from the area, leaving a prone woman in fifties dress and her student to share one last kiss.

Light and life flowed back into that little patch of Sunnydale as the ghosts drifted away, leaving Xander in Willow's arms, mid-kiss.

Willow's expression froze as she pulled back.

Xander reached up and began to run his fingers through her hair. "Thanks for the kiss. If you don't mind," he said. "I'm going to do this for a bit as it helps keep the pain away... I can't feel my legs."

"Oh, God. Xander, I-"

"It's worse than that, remember? I'm going to the hospital. The _stay-near-me_ curse we used lasts a week."

##

"We're almost to the library," said Jesse as he guided Cordelia down the hallway. "I have to admit that I was paying more attention to you and then to Xander's feelings for Buffy, but I seem to remember it was a month before they managed to merge Catherine and Amy. By then it was too late to cure you. I guess they fixed things sooner in your reality, right?"

Cordelia was speechless as they entered the library. She heard Giles rise to his feet. "Cordelia, good to have you with us again. Ahem. You remember Amelia, yes?"

"Hello, Cordelia," came the voice of 'Amy', which was deeper than Cordelia remembered...


End file.
